C.H.E.L.S.E.A.: Fiction Writer Extraordinaire

 I am about up to HERE with my dumbass neighbors. Not Lucy - she's fine. I have no problems with her. 

Its the other one and her live-in girlfriend. 

The both of them are FUCKING MORONS. I mean, come on. They have no propriety and they have so consideration for other people living next door to them. They for some reason don't think that its annoying to hear their bed creaking all the time, to play super loud shitty tv shows at 10:30 at night, to not close the entry way door, to slam said door in the morning, to shuffle about and hum really loudly early in the morning, and to never stop fucking giggling all the time super loudly. 

And you know what, if they're not doing all that shit - then they're yelling and screaming at each other. I HATE THEM. Dear god, I hate them so much.

I also hate the fact that my official neighbor has the same name as me. The only thing keeping me from charging her with theft is that I hold that she must be defined by her last initial. For example, she shall always be (to me) "The Dumbass Bitch Chelsea B", whereas I am "Chelsea". Then there is the fact that she gives Brunettes a bad name - she's a fucking idiot who always makes stupid comments during history class. 

God I Hate Her!!!!!!!!

Yes, my story has been nominated, again. It really is the same story as before ("The Longest Moments"), except that it has been expanded into a second and third and currently unwritten fourth chapter. It is called "The Season's Connection"

It has been nominate on Fiction Press Supernatural Stories Awards. The link is -- http://fpsupernaturalstoriesawards.webs.com  I'd suggest that you go there but there are a few snags to this plan. 1) They probably haven't posted me as an nomination yet, and 2) for some reason, my computer cannot seem to open up the website. That snag, however, may be completely limited to me. The internet connection here has a few websites that it cannot seem to open no matter what, so, maybe you should try going there. 

It's been nominated for "Best Non-Mainstream Creature Story", "Best Written",  and "Best Plot" (I think). So, yay! 

 It seems that LiveJournal has become my ranting place, where I express what I'm actually feeling instead of just talking about stuff (lately). 

Well, right now, I am so sick of people telling me that it is wrong for me to want to go home for a little while. Acting like wanting to do that means that I'm being anti-social over here, that I'm being weak, and childish. Telling me that the way I feel, how strongly I am affected by this desire, is wrong. A friend just told me, "and you know, going home isn't going to help you, you know, it's more like you probably need to bond with other people".

IT IS NOT WRONG FOR ME TO FEEL THIS WAY. I can't help the way I feel, and I can't seem to find the words to express how desperately I feel this, or how angry it makes me that people are telling me this is the wrong way to feel. Because it's not. 

I like my new friends, I do. I like my classes, I like my school. And it's been a month, I know. It's been a long time, and I know that most people have acclimated themselves to their classes and friends and school all the way already. But just because its taking me longer than the others, doesn't mean I'm wrong, at all. I...I...I can't change the way I feel to suit how they think I should. I just cant'. I can't be like them - I can't be like Christine or Alana who only 'would like' to go home. I can't. I need to go home. I desire to go home. I know that I am so incredibly lucky to be where I am, I know that hundreds would kill to be in my place. That I have a roof over my head, I'm getting a wonderful education, I have food on the table. 

Trust me, I know this. No one has to treat me like I'm being ungrateful, because I feel so guilty for feeling this way. Like feeling like this is causing everyone nothing but trouble. But I have to accept that this is the way that I am. I'm slow at getting over things, at getting into things, and for 18 YEARS, my home was the place that I went to slow down, and think, and get used to things. 

Well, now I don't have that place so readily available, so it would naturally occur that it will take me even longer to get along without the support of familiar items, and my mother and my family. And I'm NOT wrong for feeling that way. Not at all. 

Those people that tell me that I "should just make connections with other people" or "just get used to it", they try to understand, but only marginally. They're are putting me in their place, not themselves in mine. They haven't survived what I've survived. They don't have those hang ups that keep me up at night, that used to make look at the phone every five minutes if my mother didn't come home after a reasonable amount of time, waiting for the police to call and tell me that there had been an accident. 

They've never had that. And they can't possibly imagine what that feels like for a 12 year old. 

And they can't understand what it feels like, to cling to one parent because the other is gone, and then be pulled away from that one parent. And then be told, that they're wrong for missing them, and needing them, and not knowing what to do without them. They can never understand that. 

And they can't realize that maybe, they shouldn't give me exactly the same advice that they do everyone, because I am not like everyone else they've given advice to. I have almost acute separation anxiety. I have grief issues. I get over things differently, and yes, it takes me longer. And I'd like to reiterate that that is not wrong. 

I don't mean to bite people's heads off when they say things like this, but sometimes they say them so flippantly that I can't believe how almost... inconsiderate they are. I don't mean to sound like a witch when I reply to these people, but it gets old listening to them say these things. And it seems to be the same people, over and over, and over again. I cry. A lot. Especially when I'm emotional. And even during normal times, I get very emotional. I can't help that either - It's just the way I am.

It helps me to tell people these things, but lately I've been feeling like I can't. Because when I do I get responses like the ones above, or I get the impression that by telling them this, I've caused them a lot of trouble or immensely burdened them. But you know what? Sometimes, I just want to say things, tell people things, express myself just to get it out. Not to have them comment or tell me that I'm wrong. Just to say it. But I feel that I can't. I feel guilty for being me. Somehow, I think there is something wrong with that. 

 I am on an incredible high right now. And do you know why? Why? Because Disney and Johnny Depp have just announced a FOURTH PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN MOVIE!!!!!

I'm so excited! I love those movies and I especially...*ahem* love Jack Sparrow. Excuse me, Captain Jack Sparrow. He can shiver my timbers anytime. Ohh....I'm so excited! I can't wait. It will be called "Pirates of the Caribbean" On Stranger Tides" and that the movie will be released in the summer of 2011. 

I'll wait. I don't care. I'll wait forever for my Johnny....he he 

http://movies.yahoo.com/news/movies.ap.org/pirates-miley-disney-dishes-new-films-d23-ap

 I, Chelsea A., hate one of my pod mates at college. If she lived in the same room as me, I'd probably already be in jail for homicide. This girl, who unfortunately is also named chelsea, is so freakin' stupid.

*screams* She drives me insane! I've asked her to keep the hallway door closed at night so that light doesn't come into my room and I can sleep. She agreed to, which I was thankful for because she doesn't have glass windows in her door, only I do. Well, how is it gonna help me to keep out light from that direction when she stays up late, leaves HER door open, and lets light shine into my room from that way????? Ack! Last night I was up until midnight because first her door was open and then because she kept making all this f***in noise! I hate her! Next time...next time man...

Then, the other day, she knocked on my door, and I didn't hear her, so instead of knocking again she came into my room (stuck her head in and when I noticed her then came in)!!!!! She asked how much the washer and dryer downstairs were. Which was fine. Then she comes back, and asks me if she can use her ID card, then her bank card, then cash. I said no each time. Then she asks me if I have change for a $5, and I didn't, so I said no. Ten minutes later she come back and asks me if I have change for a $20. WTF??? If I don't have change for a $5, how am I gonna have change for a $20? Idiot! Then she kept whining about it and asking more questions until I said I would loan her $0.75, and she said that I should give her a dollar. So really, I think her whole aim that time was to get me to give her money the little bitch.

Now, the other day I went to San Francisco with two friends and we walked through an way unfamiliar part of the city to get to this ice creamery. It was hard as it was with the three of us, walking there, with absolutely no idea where we were but for a few directions I'd written down. Plus on top of all that we had to catch out shuttle and BART a couple of times, so that was difficult as well. So chelsea asks me about it and whatever, and then she says, "Next time you'll have to take me." No FREAKIN' way. She has a disability in one of her feet that makes it hard for her to walk and she can't go very fast, and I promise you that this is not why I dislike her by the way. But no freakin' way am I gonna try to catch BART and walk through rough parts of SF with her. No way.

Did I mention that if other people are in my room she thinks that she can just come in too? Well, yes, she does that. The other night some friends of mine and I were fiddling with rabbit ears for my TV and eventually my RA came in too so we were just kinda sitting there (having abandoned our cause), and chelsea walks in, sits on my bed, and decides to join us without any actual invitation. So we started watching Wishbone on youtube (don't ask) and she spills her water on my floor. I'm cool with that, it was an accident. So I give her my face towel that I use in she shower cause it's mostly dry by then and I know I"m gonna wash it the next day. So what does she do, she puts it on the floor with her hand, then puts her foot on it, and uses her gross, smelly foot to wipe everything up. And then instead of picking up the towel, she leaves it there with her foot on it for the rest of the night! it was so gross I only picked it up with the tips of my fingers 'cause I had to.

Bear with me 'cause I have one more thing to rant about. We're in the same History class, which, you know, is just great when she decides to ask these weird questions. Anyway, I had been raising my hand for a long time to say something about the gradual immigration of Neaderthals and Cro Magnons. Well, the prof finally called on me, not verbally, just held out his hand to me, pointed to the left at where I was sitting. The other chelsea, who had been mouthing off the entire period. thought that SOMEHOW pointing to the left for someone to speak, meant the person right in front of him. So as I opened my mouth she just starts talking and asking him MORE STUPID QUESTIONS. AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! So I had to wait for her. And her stupid questions.

She's trying to latch onto me, I know it. I know it. I know it. I know it. She is. I can tell. And I really don't want her to because I really don't like her and I don't want to be around her. She's weird. But  I can't be mean to her. ACK! So frustrating!

 I met Simon Baker! I met Simon Baker! I met Simon Baker! And he called me "love"! YAY!




And I met Tim Kang! I met Tim Kang! I met Tim Kang! YAY! He was so nice!




YAY! That's basically all I can say! Woot!

And for those of you who want to hear more, I'll spill! I heard that they were shooting a second season episode of The Mentalist in Sacramento so last Friday I drove up to try to find them. I did almost right away and it was so amazing - the first person I saw was Simon Baker! I had to do a double take!

First I caught Tim and asked him for a picture and he was so friendly! Then I watched to the end of their work and caught Simon just as he was leaving. He looked to be in a time crunch, so I said, "If you don't have any time, that's okay, I understand. "

Then, in his incredible Australian accent, Simon said, "No, It's okay. Come here, love". Then he put his arm around me. Needless to say, I was on an adrenaline rush for the rest of the day! Can anyone say 'heaven'?

 As promised on my profile page I am providing an excerpt of my novel-lenght historical romance, "Roses in December". The title is subject to change, however at this moment I feel that it fits the story quite well. This title is inspired by the 1937 song of the same name, which was sung by Vera Lynn. The lyrics are what did it for me, so I've decided to include them here: 

 So a little while ago I blogged that I had gotten a 5 (FIVE!!!!!) on my Advanced Placement European History Test, but that I hadn't gotten my AP French Test results back. 

Well guess what - I got them. 

And you know what I got? I got a 1 (ONE!), which is the lowest grade. But I knew I was going to fail that test. It was about the hardest test I've ever taken in my entire life and even though I loved my French teacher, she just wasn't that great at teaching us the AP side of things. I'm pretty sure that everyone else that took it with me (all 5 of them) failed too. So I'm in good company. 

Either way...I still got a 5 on my APEH test!!!! YAY!


PS - I'm not nauseated (check the mood thingy) 'cause of this. I'm nauseated 'cause of the heavy duty pain killers they gave me when they removed my wisdom teeth. They still hurt really bad - AND  today is the dreaded Day of Swelling. 

 So during my Senior year of high school I took two Advanced Placement or AP test. I took Advanced Placement French (APF) and Advanced Placement European History (APEH). I happen to really, really, really, love APEH because, well, eventually I want to teach it at a college level. I just absolutely love the passion and murder and death and war and love and legend of it all - Romans, Vikings, Visigoths, Ostrogoths, Vandals, Saxons, Jutes, Angles, Norman Conquest of Britain, the Renaissance, the Middle Ages, the Dark Ages, Baroque, French Classicism, Rococo, etc. It's all awesome. 

And I got a 5 on the test. 

Yeah, you know it. I got the highest grade on the test. Which means I'm totally awesome at the subject AND  I get college credit. So congratulate me on it - I worked my ass off to get it!

 Hey everyone - great news! My story, "The Longest Moments" was nominated today as "Best Non-Mainstream Character Story" and for "Best One-Shot"! I'm just floored that this person thinks my story is that good! Keep your fingers crossed that I win!

TITLE: The Longest Moments
LINK: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2297627/1/The_Longest_Moments
SUMMARY: This is a short one shot story that just flowed out of my hand, completely unbidden. A girl is caught in a terrible storm, but is rescued by an unlikely, and unearthly, source. 

( Read more... )</div>
PSST - you should still go to FictionPress.Com, to my story using the above link, and you should still review it - even if you read it here! Thanks!
 

 So today, I was stuck with one of those wonderful realizations that everybody gets every once in a while. I was sitting at a table in Jack-in-the-Box with my mother and Vicki and we were eating lunch and we were all like, "Whatever.", talking about what ever we stumbled upon. Then I realized something. 

I have huge boobs. 

And I wasn't even wearing an immodest shirt. Plus, I've known that I'm large in that department, but it was one of those moments where certain things that you know consciously and subconsciously before are fully realized for just a second or two. And I thought, "Wow, it's good to be me in at least one department."

So because I'm rather lonely I thought that I would share this. Woot for me. Yeah, I'm weird.

 My brother is making farting sounds right now with the ketchup bottle. I was about to write and I heard that and thought, 'Wow, what a snazzy opening sentence. Farting noises. Great.'

Anyway, totally, FINALLY finishing my only driver's training even though I'm 18 and technically don't have to do that stuff anymore. Wow. I hate it. The stupid website is so condescending. Because all teenagers are moronic juvenile delinquents apparently. 

Joey is home from his Washington DC trip, which is not so awesome cause that means he's here. But he did get me a book on Lincoln at Peoria and a pen in the shape of one of those drum thingies that has "Civil War 1861-1865" on it. Cool. The book is really good. It talks about how Lincoln's speech at Peoria is the dividing line between the earlier, more minor judicial sort of career as a lawyer and his campaign for the Presidency, which was still a long way off. I usually don't read too much stuff like this because I'm always afraid that I won't understand it, but anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE Abraham Lincoln. He is like my man! Can do no wrong! He is awesome!.....Love him....

Yay, it's summer and I want a job! I need a job so I can start getting money to pay off my college loans and my mother's college loan. We're gonna work on her's first 'cause mine don't start until 6 mos. after I graduate. Cool. Anybody know of anything? That stupid yogurt shop that's opening up in the village still has nothing  on applying. Which I'd really like to do thank you very much.

In other news, I'm almost done watching the Japanese Hana-Kimi and I saw Cold Mountain yesterday. Totally just posted about Bosie on the Sexy & Villainous Community I belong to. 

So...yeah.

 I can't even bring myself to be angry. I feel limp, broken. I had so much optimism earlier today. The doctor sounded so enthusiastic after the surgery. But she was wrong. Grade 3. Oncologist on Monday. Mom says that she may still be okay because the surgeon took so much surrounding flesh. She says there may be some hope. I feel so beaten I can hardly bring myself to believe in it. I don't want to eat. 

I feel betrayed. I feel like all my thoughts and prayers were ignored, that I, that she, was cast out as if we weren't important. I thought that He was supposed to support me and to love me. But all I feel is that He is tearing me down.

What am I to do? I have no idea. Crushed. Crushed.

 God I hate to cry! Dammit! 

( Don't read more. )

 Man...what a time Spring Break I'm having (and it isn't even over!)

You guys....wow...I've been on Spring Break for three days, and I've already laughed till it hurt, cried, coughed till it hurt, scared everyone around me, and gotten sick.

Yup. I've been busy. 

So, Saturday I went up to visit some relatives that live about two hours away from me. We were all thinking that it would be a really nice, really relaxing Easter spent with good will and family....Wrong. I have allergies. And I have asthma. And those two things don't mix that well. My asthma was already kind of aggravated and then what I thought were allergies started to kick in. At first it was just the nose. I could handle that. Not so true.  

Saturday evening I start getting abnormally tired and really very cold. Which, in California, in April, is weird. Cause, you know, it gets hot here. I was so so cold, and I couldn't smell anything because my nose was stuffy, and I could hardly eat dinner, and everyone was starting to get a little worried. Afterwards, I put my pajamas on and put on my fuzzy, warm, jacket and zipped it all the way up. And then THAT  wasn't enough! I pulled a thick blanket over myself and lay down and I swear to the high heavens I was already so out of it and miserable I could hardly see straight. Here everyone around me is either warm or just right, and I'm freezing cold. Every time I managed to take a drink of water my whole body convulsed with cold. 

I kept taking stuff and nothing was working and we checked and guess what? Somehow, I had managed to develop a fever! Who can manage to do that on Spring Break but me? 

Anyway, at 8 I went to bed and piled all these blankets on top of myself and didn't take my jacket off and fell right asleep. My mom came in and gave me Nighquil at 11 or so and all I could feel was that I was drenched in sweat...It was terrible!

I woke up the next morning and let me tell you, I was: hot, weak, and still tired. And I was really out of it. 

Apparently everyone was extremely worried about me because they'd never seen me like that before and, well, this will help you gage how sick I was - I asked my mother where my brother had been all that night, when he'd been there the whole time!

That day wasn't much better though.  I didn't get another fever, but I was pretty shaky and tired - I was able to sleep during the day! And I never sleep during the day! And I almost threw up after eating eggs that morning...It was still pretty bad...but I made it to 8:30 that night in a semi-conscious state, so we watched that movie, "Lakeview Terrace". It was very good - and such a nail biter! Although I don't really like Samuel L. Jackson too much, I thought he did a good job. (Just something aside - Megan - the guy who played Dan in Watchmen was in it, and the entire movie, I couldn't help but think, "OMG. Most awkward superhero ever.")

Of course, the day we left I felt a thousand times better. But that's just the luck of it. However I'm not out of the woods yet. My asthma still hasn't given up on me. This morning I coughed so hard I was bent over double. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't call out for help, I couldn't close my mouth...It was terrible. 

Enough cheeriness for now. Sleep now. Talk later.

Wow - I got a huge response to the entry in which I wrote about -the-nameless- leaving us all so tragically! It was really suprising, but nice to know that so many people miss her. Maybe if she sees that, she'll contact us or post it again...I really hope so. I was hooked on that sequel you know!

Anyway, things are...okay. Right now I'm sick. Which is the pits. But its totally minor compared to what I've had to deal with in the past. Classes are okay - people still think that I'm insane for thinking that AP Euro is a fun class...But I've been getting into a college here and there.

I recently got into Mills Womens College, and so on the 8th I'm going to go there for an  overnight sort of thing. Hopefully then I can let a Finance Officer know that if I don't get a full scholarship there is no way I can afford to go there. Hopefully (i'm praying!) they want me badly enough....

So that seems to be it. I know, I'm totally boring. Deal with it.

Okay guys - another long entry about everything under the sun in my life. A lot of the stuff that I'll be talking about will be pretty outdated, but, what the hell..

I GOT INTO AP EURO! Isn't that awesome? AT the beginning of the year, I was stuck in art class because APEH was full, but then, three weeks in, a spot opened up and I got in! For me, I was ecstatic, I was so happy because I love european history. I mean, who couldn't love it? Vikings, Romans, Italian City States, French Kings, the Reformation, the Counter Reformation, French Classicism, Rococo, Baroque, Individual Christian Faith, 95 Theses, Council of Trent - love, sex, war, hate, religion - all mixing together to form this absolutely fascinating society. I can't believe how lucky  I am...

I've also decided to go to the Winter Ball. Which is big. Huge. Because....i'll say this quick (no one laugh!) i'veneverbeentoadancebefore!

"What was that?" you ask. "I couldn't hear you. Could you say that again?"

"mumblemumblemumble"

"What?"

Alright! Alright! I've never been to a dance before! I admit it! But I am going to this one! Most likely stag...Unless I can convince myself to ask a new crush CG. He's in my english class, and my government class, and really nice. I just can't get up the courage to ask him...I wish he would ask me. I wish anyone could ask me!

I already have my dress, my shoes, my bag , and my ticket. My dress is a little black dress, with a V-neck and it falls to just above my knees. My shoes are gorgeous, strappy, high heels, black patent leather, AND comfortable! I kid you not, they are miracle shoes. And then I got this cute little black purse, and I'm ready to go. I'm thinking that for once, I'll be a knockout. I'll be the one that guys do double takes for. We'll see.

The one thing missing - a date!

And now, for the very best news! I'VE ALREADY BEEN ACCEPTED INTO A COLLEGE! I can't believe it. CSU East Bay has already sent me an acceptance letter. Now I just have to wait for the responses from other colleges, and make my decision.

Wish me luck with the whole dance/date thing!
 

Okay dudes - I'm here to complain. I went on Quizilla.com just a few minutes ago to check up on the progress of one of my favorites Joker/OFC stories. But guess what?

ITS GONE!

It must have been deleted. Actually, the author herself was deleted. I checked for her too, and quizilla said that there was "no such user".

Does anyone know why "I'm A Normal High School Student And Have Been Kidnapped By the Joker" by -the-nameless- is gone?

Does anyone know if the author has another website where we can access the story?

Please, tell me that someone knows...

6/21/2009 --- Dudes, guys, stop yelling at me! I didn't do anything! I was just expressing my disappointment!

  I love the Dark Knight movie. 

I LOVE IT. I've seen it three or four times (can't keep track) and I love it even more every time. It isn't just a bout Heath Ledger's Joker, although that has MAJOR appeal (hotness!). I like it because Christian Bale does a really good job too. The movie is funny, but suspenseful, and it has really good cinematography. Did I spell that right? But most importantly, 

I JUST SAW IT IN IMAX!! BOOYAH!!!!!!

Woot. The IMAX experience was awesome and at times, when the shot was of the sides of buildings or a moving shot over a city, I felt like i was in a Disney ride doing just that. Kind of like the ride Soarin' Over California. It was awesome. 

And, last night, I had my very first gelato. BONUS!! And let me tell you, having your first gelato is very important for a half-Italian American whose quite distanced from her culture and family back in Italia. And it was so good! Our ice cream just doesn't compare. I just doesn't. So take that Ben & Jerry's. HA

Okay, so you guys know I'm a pretty reasonable person, right? Well, one of my bosses at work (yes, there IS more than one!!!) is INSANE! I can't believe her. She is one of the few people that can drive me to violence; although I've never indulged in that little fantasy, believe me, sometimes I'm sorely tempted to. 

I've observed (and I'm told) that she has that affect on everyone. 

Not even her own daughters will have much to do with her...Pretty weird huh? WAIT - I MEANT "Pretty sad, huh?"

She makes me so angry I can't even describe what she does. But let me try to spell out a few words that might help you understand: one condescending attitude, a tendency to over-explain things, a million little post-it notes, talking behind my back, not really caring that she's set me (once again) to back breaking labor, making me crawl around on my knees to staple pieces of paper together (and file), and finally, her legacy of driving a multitude of other summer workers out.

Yeah...NOW DO YOU GET THE PICTURE???

Today I swear she made me cry. I couldn't help it I was so frustrated and tired and that stupid storage room keeps tearing up my arms. You should seriously see my arms. I have TEN, yes thats 10, scratches/cuts/scrapes on just 1 arm alone!!!!!

AHHHH!! Pray I have enough patience to withstand her for two more days so that I don't go to jail before my lovely vacay next week...

PS  - and don't even get me started on the stress she's causing me...I'm actually getting about twice the normal amount of tension headaches that I normally get - because of her.